I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
