That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
