Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
