I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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