i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
