I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
