1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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