Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
