Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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