I am spending my child support on dildos
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
