I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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