oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
