Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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