Pappa wants mamma naked
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
