i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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