My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
