So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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