Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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