no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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