I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
