Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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  (425): He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party. http://tfl.nu/pnyn
  Replies (21) Good night (2057) Bad night (7799)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So... What happend then?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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  (404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62
  Replies (49) Good night (11508) Bad night (2783)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

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  (443): My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden http://tfl.nu/by6o
  Replies (35) Good night (4931) Bad night (1514)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof

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  (913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof http://tfl.nu/58vn
  Replies (8) Good night (5244) Bad night (1109)
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  (562): View more from California

  I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.

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  (562): I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex. http://tfl.nu/ik0l
  Replies (15) Good night (5787) Bad night (1235)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (10409) Bad night (1282)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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  (401): Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas http://tfl.nu/kaq5
  Replies (1) Good night (1742) Bad night (1074)
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  (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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  (714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8
  Replies (40) Good night (5630) Bad night (1240)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1886) Bad night (609)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (2146) Bad night (534)
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  (631): View more from New York

  They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !

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  (631): They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real ! http://tfl.nu/8frh
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (542)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god

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  (410): I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god http://tfl.nu/pepn
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (546)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.

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  (412): Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants. http://tfl.nu/2i1x
  Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (338)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw

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  (478): I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw http://tfl.nu/f5v8
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (407)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.

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  (916): He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one. http://tfl.nu/ne8q
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (142)

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