your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
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He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises