Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support. http://tfl.nu/g29g
  Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (2691)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q
  Replies (23) Good night (1724) Bad night (7818)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his. http://tfl.nu/sru1
  Replies (5) Good night (2457) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. http://tfl.nu/je7l
  Replies (15) Good night (2495) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french? http://tfl.nu/ofgx
  Replies (26) Good night (7613) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m
  Replies (1) Good night (1750) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen. http://tfl.nu/gtzt
  Replies (3) Good night (1663) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.

  (801): View more from Utah

  International sake day = success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward. (801): International sake day = success http://tfl.nu/corh
  Replies (9) Good night (1081) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/eqfs
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2927) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts. http://tfl.nu/2k5o
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud... http://tfl.nu/ip6k
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Which is way cooler

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse. (703): Which is way cooler http://tfl.nu/my7h
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off http://tfl.nu/hbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who. http://tfl.nu/ct81
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (789)

Randomize