dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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