Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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