There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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