Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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