dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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