im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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