She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
