Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
