tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
