No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
