I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
