This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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