I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
