I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this boner is exhausting
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
