the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Are my feet made of real feet?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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