I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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