Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
