Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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