Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
