is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
