Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
