I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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