My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
