Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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