So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
