Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
