I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize