Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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