i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
