very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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