I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this beer tastes like vomit already
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
