god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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