Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
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Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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