ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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