Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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