new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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