Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
